Abby is doing really well! She’s only getting me up once in the middle of the night, and she doesn’t cry very much at all. She is very alert during the day. The only complaint I have is that she doesn’t seem to sleep very deep, and if I have to put her in the crib because she fell asleep on me, she will wake up. If she falls asleep on me (or Mike), we’re pretty much stuck there until she wakes up. I have been breastfeeding, and that is going really well. We don’t fight very much anymore.
I am trying to figure out what to do with my job. Mike wants me to go back to CCC, but I REALLY don’t want to. I don’t want to be away from Abby that much. I don’t want to be an hour away from my newborn baby, and I don’t want to give up breastfeeding that early. I don’t want to put her in daycare – which, if I go to CCC we can avoid if I work every weekend and Mike works 4 10-hour days, with his mom watching Abby on Fridays – but that leaves me and Mike without ANY time off together, and me missing out on any extracurricular activities (like family reunions, trips to Arkansas to see Mike’s family, graduation parties, camping trips, etc.). I am just not happy with that at all.
My other options are to find a Monday-Friday job, which would put Abby in day care but give us time as a family on the weekends. I wanted to work part-time somewhere, but it’s hard to find something that will work around Mike’s schedule and make the amount of money we need to make it work. It’s one big freaking puzzle and it really bums me out.
In addition to the stress of figuring out my employment, my car has been broken all last week. I had a job interview on Friday at a bank, but I never made it because I wrecked Holly’s car. I totaled it! I hydroplaned on 55 and hit a truck and a concrete wall. I was very lucky, I walked away without a scratch, but I feel really bad for Holly and Gary. They weren’t ready to undertake a task like replacing Holly’s car.
In the meantime, I haven’t yet rescheduled the bank interview, and am not sure it’s even worth it. I am very discouraged!