Friday, May 16, 2008

Decisions.

I have done a lot of soul searching, and in the end - I still feel obligated to take the clarkson job. There is no joy in this for me. I was all psyched up to tell Pete I was staying at CCC, and then I talked to my sister. She told me that if I don't show up, it's going to reflect poorly on her (which I already knew), and that she was going to be mad at me. My mom also made some comment about Holly's reputation, while giving me a look that could kill, and I realized that I didn't feel like I had a good way out of this. I expected both of them to stand behind me and tell me to do what I needed to do, but I didn't get that from either of them.

I am going to tell Pete on Monday that I can't be happy at CCC if I don't explore the option of spending more time with Abby, and I pray that I am making the right decision. Someone I really respect told me that I am in a bad position, and that there is probably not a right or wrong answer. That is how I feel. I can only hope that two months later, I am happy with my decision. Right now, it feels wrong.

3 comments:

S.H.I.T. Admin said...

Babe, if this really feels wrong, do what is right for you. Holly, your mom, Clarkson...will all get over it. Clarkson will be fine as soon as they find a new replacement. Your mom and Holly will understand if staying at CCC is right for you. I'm not telling you you should stay at CCC, but taking Clarkson out of obligation alone is probably the wrong decision to make.

Holly said...

Hey, thanks for lying to me about how you came over friday having not already made up your mind about the job. After reading this it appears that you had your mind made up to stay at CCC and just wanted us to say it was okay.

Heather said...

whatever. Check your email.